01 My promise of performance
... is clarity.
My work gives you more knowledge about how other parties to the conflict see the situation and what is important to you. This provides the basis for clear decisions and permanent agreements.
02 What is my specialty?
My job consists of 2/3 of mediations in companies - in German and in English. I have been practicing mediation since 1985. The largest mediation association in Europe, the Bundesverband Mediation eVI co-founded and served him as a board member for many years. With me you commission one of the most distinguished specialists for in-house mediation.
03Are you stuck?
Those involved in the conflict are in a threefold clamp:
- You have a challenging factual problem to solve.
- You can hardly do this alone, you need the conflict partner for this.
- They are involved on the relationship level: they feel annoyed, angry, betrayed, exploited.
Conflicts can be solved. Humans are more than any other being on earth capable of creativity and highly complex cooperation. That is a central element of his success story, like Yuval Noah Harari
describes impressively.
Due to the high level of emotionality of the conflict, however, those involved in the conflict are prevented from using all their creativity and flexibility to solve the problem. Strong emotions lead to cognitive distortions: We then tend to think in black and white, sticking to established patterns, thinking friend-foe. We overestimate our own abilities, our perception is limited. That is very well researched. And everyone feels the same, too Mediators.
04What can mediation do?
Mediation untangles the tangle of factual and personal implications:
Mediation offers a robust discussion framework in which factual dilemmas, mutual reproaches and strong emotions can be recognized, named, accepted and transformed. Mediation is a common, intensive development process.
The particular strength of mediation is that mediators do not interfere in content. As a mediator, I know that the best factual solution to the problem can only be found by you as parties: you know the situation better than anyone else. Only you can know exactly what you need so that the solution is exactly fitting and permanent. My core service as a mediator is to help you resolve emotional involvement at the relationship level. If your cognitive performance is no longer limited by deep frustration, anger or worry, or if your relationship is no longer burdened by mutual reproaches, you can cooperate creatively again. The aim of my work is that you can see your situation more matter-of-factly, as seen from the outside, and better recognize what could be a good way out.
05When is mediation worthwhile?
If you see evidence of a moderate conflict.
Here are some clues:
Attempted conversations fail; the tensions persist for months; Talk at the back; facts are created unilaterally; the conflict shifts from the factual level to the relationship level; black and white thinking; increased sick leave; performance decreases; Managers are increasingly becoming trouble shooters.
Here is the evidence for sentences:
- Conversations fail
Direct discussions have failed - even when accompanied by internal third parties such as supervisors, personnel managers, works councils, equal opportunities officers, etc. - Months of tension
The tensions have built up over several months. - Talking around the back
The participants primarily talk about each other instead of with each other. - Create facts
The participants regularly try to create facts through unilateral action. - Relationship reproach
No longer the thing, but the how is in the foreground: "He shouted at me!" "She doesn't even greet me in the morning!" "He cheated on me!" - Black and white thinking
Black and white thinking becomes permanent: "I'm right, the other wrong!" - Increased sick leave
In particular, before scheduled clarification talks or when necessary appointments for cooperation between the parties involved, they increasingly report sick. - Work around it
The work is organized so that those involved in the conflict have as little to do with each other as possible. - The performance drops
The people involved are working increasingly inefficiently. - Executive as a trouble shooter
The next higher manager is increasingly concerned with the conflict system in order to keep the store going.
06When is mediation necessary?
When you see evidence of a highly escalated conflict!
While conflicts with a medium degree of escalation can be resolved by good in-house mediators, this is hardly possible in the case of highly escalated conflicts. Here you need an experienced external mediator who very credibly embodies impartiality and confidentiality.
Here are some indications for highly escalated conflicts in keywords: Conflict as a permanent condition; Wooing supporters; Doubting the character integrity; Personalization; Assumption of inability or malice.
Here are the clues to formulate keywords:
- Conflict as a permanent condition
The conflict has been going on for many months or even years. - Advertise for followers
The conflicting parties are actively trying to attract more and more supporters to their camp. - Questioning the integrity of the character
The conflict is blamed on the character: “She is an unscrupulous power man. Conversations are useless! " - personalization
The conflict is personalized: "If Mr. Schmidt left, there would finally be peace!" - Inability / malice
Those involved see each other as incompetent or even malicious. - Anything can be used against you ...
Everything the other person says is against him, including compliments: "He just wants to fool me!" - Neutrality is dangerous
In the Northern Ireland conflict it was said: "The ones middle often he road get knocked down first!" "Whoever is in the middle of the street is the first to be knocked over!" beats. - Fraternization with the enemy
It is dangerous for bystanders to speak or work with one side: you are almost automatically seen as an enemy by the other side.
07Are conflicts normal?
Conflict professionals like mediators can also get caught up in a dispute.
Conflicts are a normal part of every intensive relationship - be it in private life or in professional life. I know numerous mediators and board members of mediation associations who have sought the support of a mediator even in difficult conflicts. I have also used the help of a mediator several times in my own conflicts.
08How do you deal with the conflict?
There are three ways to deal with conflicts: “Take it! Change it! Leave it! "
Where does mediation come into play?
- "Take it"
means:
"Take the conflict as it is. Don't change it. Hold it out! ”There are good reasons for enduring conflicts: z. B. in emergency situations, a foreseeable end if a termination has already been given and if a team has to adapt to an indispensable genius.
Where does mediation make sense here? Not in emergency situations and after a termination. Mediation, on the other hand, helps in dealing with "geniuses": It should be clarified with all those involved how the possibilities and limits of cooperation can be. - "Change it"
means:
If possible, they want to continue working with the parties involved in the conflict and clarify the conflict for this purpose. Here mediation is an ideal choice. - "Leave it"
means:
You separate yourself from the conflict partner (s). Mediation can make a valuable contribution to managing the consequences of separation and to diverge in the good.
09When does mediation work?
If a person really wants to.
This person must be the top executive participating in the mediation. For equal parties who do not have a manager (e.g. two managing directors), it is sufficient if one of them really wants mediation.
One party really wants mediation ...
- ... when she is ready to put her view of the conflict openly on the table.
- ... when she invites the others to openly name the allegations against them.
- ... if she accepts that mediation is open to results.
- ... if she wants all of this even though she knows that mediation can only guarantee clarity but not harmony.
If these prerequisites are met by the top executive manager or one of the equals, there is usually openness and energy to get the mediation discussion going and to enable an increasingly open discussion.
10thHow important is volunteering?
You go to the mediator like to the dentist. Who is excited about it? Certainly, there are good reasons to go to the dentist or mediator. But quite a few people involved in the conflict feel a little mocked when they are told that mediation is voluntary. An escalated conflict is a hopeless situation. Mediation, as an attempt to get into conversation with each other, sometimes feels like the lesser evil in this situation. It can feel like an impertinence to sit down with the person who “did all of this to you”. But there is no other way, the solution to the problem depends very much on the cooperation with this person. The alternative courses of action are usually not very tempting: transfer, warning, separation, litigation. Looking away and doing nothing have also often not proven their worth. Here the dangers of further conflict escalation, drastic deterioration in performance, bullying and burn out threaten. So it makes sense to at least try mediation to prevent worse things and to take advantage of the opportunity to resolve the conflict.
11How many can participate?
2 to 100 people or more. It depends on:
After a conflict analysis, I advise you who should participate in the mediation. I offer you the efficient form of mediation for any number of conflict participants. Mediation often takes place between just two people, or between the 3 to about 15 members of a team. Sometimes it is necessary for 100 or more people, e.g. For example, all employees in a department should start talking to each other because everyone is affected equally and it makes sense to resolve the conflict transparently, efficiently and with all available skills.
12thHow long does mediation take?
One to two days is usually enough to resolve a conflict between two people or a team. If several levels of the company are involved in the conflict, more is needed.
13Is online mediation feasible?
Conflicts in the workplace can hardly be resolved online.
Low escalated conflicts between two colleagues who only work together virtually are best suited for this.
14Coaching, training and Co.
Coaching, training, team TÜV and mediation training can help managers and teams to expand the success of mediation.
When resolving conflicts, I perceive the strengths and areas of development of managers and teams. On this basis, I would be happy to make tailor-made recommendations for further development. Coaching and training are well-known instruments. The Team TÜV is an innovative way to stay in conversation as a team on a regular basis in order to strengthen cooperation and prevent conflicts.
Are you interested in learning more about the team TÜV? I am happy to inform you!More information on Mediation training
Is there ... here.
15Who do I offer mediation for?
For all industries and for all levels in the company.
Customers of my mediations are:
- Entrepreneurs
- Entrepreneurial families
- executive Director
- Works councils
- Manager
- Executives
- Professionals
16What does mediation cost?
My fee is a matter of negotiation. It should be fair for you and me.
In my view, the essential factors for pricing are the duration and intensity of the mediation and the importance of the conflict for your company: These three factors are influenced by the following variables: How many people are involved in the conflict? How many hierarchy levels are affected? What is the highest hierarchical level involved in the conflict? How long has the conflict been, i.e. how hard is it? How much has the conflict escalated? What is the economic and human damage already caused by the conflict? What is the likely future damage in the event of an unresolved conflict?
In short: the greater the challenge and the importance of the conflict, the higher the investment in mediation.
17thThe first step in mediation
The success of a mediation depends largely on how it is initiated.
I advise you on bringing mediation to everyone involved in such a way that conflict resolution has a good chance. You are welcome Contact
up with me!
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